Oh dear

The Bond Library Staff attempted to deter students from removing books from the reserve section of the Law Library, without borrowing them, by using a cardboard cut out. The had nominations for which 'life-size' figure would be most appropriate. Homer Simpson was the winner. I objected to the Americanisation of Campus, which was obviously furthered by the positioning of 5ft Homer Simpson cut-out in what (one would hope) is a heavily utilised area of the Law Library.

I am not sure whether this figure was an effective deterrent.

It is not clear whether Homer decided that Library work wasn't for him, whether he was sacked (but too ashamed to admit it), whether he has earned a well earned break (presumably prescribed for in his AWA) or whether he has been kidnapped. What I am sure is, if kidnapped the person(s) responsible may be charged by the police. Thereby dramatically effecting the individual(s) aspirations to enter the legal profession (all convictions must be disclosed.)

While investigations have commenced, as to the circumstances surrounding the disappearance, it still remains unclear as to whether Homer left voluntarily or was forcibly removed. To date any information purporting the reasons for Homer's absence are pure speculation. They should be dismissed as idle Bond gossip.

We have attempted to contact Homer and his immediate family but to no avail. If, as one theory suggests, Homer has been kidnapped a ransom has not been issued.

It appears that Homer is alive and is being fed. He has been sighted. However, if you do see any individual fitting his description we caution you not to approach him, rather contact the powers that be. The unaccounted for individual may be armed, he may be dangerous, he may be suffering from Stockholm syndrome. We will attempt to keep you informed on this issue. There has been a website set up. This appears to suggest that Homer is alive and well. To date, we have not been able to establish whether Homer is responsible for this, whether he is willingly co-operating with his captors, or whether he has been beaten, and/or starved into submission. The website can be accessed here.

NEWS FLASH: THIS PUBLICATION HAS JUST BEEN INFORMED THAT HOMER'S REMOVAL MAY BE AN ATTEMPT BY THE BONDSTOCK COMMITTEE TO GENERATE MORE PUBLICITY. ALTERNATIVELY, IT HAS ALSO BEEN SUGGESTED THAT AS ATTEMPT TO OVERCOME ALLEGED APATHY SURROUNDING STUDENT ELECTIONS, THAT THE REMOVAL OF HOMER WAS ORCHESTRATED TO CAUSE THE BOND COMMUNITY TO UNITE FOR THE COMMON CAUSE OF, EITHER LIBERATING HOMER FROM WHAT MAY BE INDEBTED SERVITUDE TO THE LAW LIBRARY, OR RETURNING HIM TO HIS RIGHTFUL PLACE, PERHAPS NEGOTIATING MORE FAVORABLE WORKING ARRANGEMENTS IF NECESSARY. (THIS WOULD ENSURE THAT LAW STUDENTS CAN PUT THEIR WELL PRACTICED NEGOTIATION SKILLS TO WORK BEFORE ENTERING THE 'REAL WORLD.')

No Gordon, I have not cut & pasted this post. I have altered the font size and colour!