Oh dear

My brother, the comedian of the family, forwarded this to me some months back. I think it came to him via Sarah Martin. Unfortunately, I can very easily picture my brother doing this in a selection of shops while Sarah is busy. While I am sure the blog will not redeem itself once this has been posted, I need a giggle and I have to admit this does (no matter how hard I try not to) make me chuckle.

Things to do in Kmart while your other half is shopping:

1. Get boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' trolleys when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at 10-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of apple juice on the floor to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to a store employee and tell him/her in an official tone; "I think we have a Code 3 in Homeware."

5. Put M & M's on layby.

6. Move "CAUTION WET FLOOR" signs to the carpeted areas.

7. Set up a tent in the Sporting Section; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When someone asks if they can help you, start crying and ask; "Why won't people leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror to pick your nose.

10. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission Impossible."

11. In the Auto Dept practise your Madonna look by using different sized funnels.

12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, jump out and yell; "PICK ME!"

13. When an announcement comes over the P.A. system, assume the foetal position and scream; "Not the voices again!"

14. Go into the Fitting Room and call out loudly; "Hey, there's no toilet paper in here."